Reply to My brother’s divorce and custody issues

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[quote=Anonymous]Posting this here too from the relationship page because this might be the appropriate place.

My brother is separated and getting divorced. He lives in another country so I am not sure the same rules applies as it pertains to custody.

My brother and ex wife have agreed on shared custody of their daughter (my niece), but she ends up spending more time with her mom since it does not make sense to change house every other day. For now my brother sees her one day a week (sometimes more if mom has work) and every other weekend. On top of that, he has two full weeks in the Summer as does the mom.

This week is my brother’s week with his daughter and we are together on vacation a couple of hours away from my brother’s house. Mom decided to show up and rented a hotel for 3 days (during my brother’s week). My niece is very attached to mom and while she was super happy playing with her cousins (my kids) and her dad, as soon as mom arrived only wanted to be with mom. The daughter ended up spending 2 days and 3 nights with mom. 
My brother is very upset as are my parents and feel the mom is wrong and should not have interfered in her daughter’s time with dad. At the same time, my brother says he can’t forbid the mom from seeing their daughter even during HIS time with her.

I am very sad for my brother and for his daughter because she was happy playing with my kids and as soon as mom arrived started whining and only wanted to be held. My brother feels the mom is ruining his relationship with his daughter and practically preventing her from spending time with her dad. 
The mom argues that her being there does not prevent my brother from spending time with his daughter, but it practice it does because she only wants to be with her mom (and being held 90% of the time).

How can I help my brother? What can he do? I feel what his ex does is bad, but I am not sure what can be done.

My niece is 4.5

Thanks![/quote]

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