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[quote=Anonymous]If your father is having noticeable withdrawal symptoms he should not stop drinking without medical supervision. He may need to be hospitalized. Once he is detoxified, he might benefit from a rehabilitation facility. Even if he resists at first, the combination of being in intoxicated, along with a month or so of information and experience in a recovery group could provide the impetus for a new way of life.  If he refuses to go to rehab he can still recover. Alcoholics Anonymous is free, readily available in person or online, and will open the door to a set of principles that can change things, along with a bunch of incredible (and fun) people who are living happily without alcohol. Ignore the inevitable naysayers and the people who will say he should stay isolated st home and read books and watch videos. He is long past half measures.

As others have observed, escaping alcohol requires that he have a desire to stop drinking. He doesn’t need it going in the door, however; it is enough that he be willing to listen and be honest with himself. Finding the necessary willingness is one of the things some people gain in a rehab facility.

Your Stepmother’s denial is an issue for both her and your father. One question to ask is how him stopping drinking might make her feel threatened, in terms of control, her own drinking, or something else. She may need help as well, from professionals or perhaps Al-Anon. (For the latter, she may need to shop around, as meetings vary.). She may have more power in the situation than she thinks, particularly in terms of making it more difficult for him to drive to the liquor store.

Ultimately, though, your father’s drinking is his problem. “You didn’t cause it, you can’t control it, and you can’t cure it.”  You can try to intervene and put the means of recovery in reach, but you cannot compel him to pursue it. You might be able to help slow his medical decline by just getting him dried out/detoxified, but unless you and Stepmother want to become jail warders not much is likely to change.

This is very difficult. Watching people you love drink themselves to death is painful, sad and resentment-inducing. You might benefit from professional help and/or Al-Anon or something similar as well. Don’t give up hope, but don’t blame yourself. And don’t hate your father. At this point, drinking is not a choice.

Good luck to you and your family.[/quote]

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