Reply to Can you force an aide on a parent with physical issues who really needs one?

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Can you force an aide on a parent with physical issues who really needs one?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]You don’t live with them, do you? You need to explain to her that you must leave them to maintain your employment/sanity and at the next inevitable crisis you will not be coming to help because this is not sustainable for you and they clearly need to see, through experience, their situation

Tell her here is what will happen: 
(1)she or your dad will be hospitalized. There will be a fall, illness, etc
(2) you will not come unless she agrees as a condition of that, that there will be help at home. If she does not agree, *don’t come.* Tell the social worker you cannot do it as you need to work. The social worker at the hospital will likely deem it unsafe for one parent to care for the other alone and will tell them that and the gears of bureaucracy will move
(3) at that point they will either get aides/help at home or it’s a nursing home.

I mean, this all sucks and I get why your mom wants to maintain their independent lifestyle. Because once it’s gone it’s never coming back. But your mom cannot expect you to lose your job!! Your parents may need to stumble around more and be unsafe to really see how the situation is. If you swoop in to help they will never see it. My mom refused to consider help in the home until my dad was extremely debilitated. They definitely had been living in a precarious state before then for a long time and I hated it but it was their choice. At that point the social workers basically would not agree to discharge them without an in home plan in place.
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics