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[quote=Anonymous]So my husband and I are 40, and we are happy but sometimes exhausted parents of a lively and wonderful 1-year-old. Being older parents, and DH and I both also having parents who had us later in life, the 4 grandparents are all thankfully alive and loving, but in their late 70-early 80's and in varying states of health. They all love visiting with our kid, but none of them are really capable of watching a toddler on their own for even a pretty short period of time.

So when i hear about friends who are able to drop off their young kids off at grandma's and go away for the weekend to celebrate their anniversary, I seethe with jealousy. We wouldn't even be able to do that for a date night. We're probably not going to have another baby, but if we were I'd probably have to stay in the hospital by myself.

I guess I want to hear from others in this situation (or anyone else who has helpful thoughts) on how to deal with this both on an emotional level and a practical one. How to deal with the feelings of disappointment and jealously, and preventing it from turning it into resentment, either towards my parents and IL's who are all honestly lovely, or toward others who have the luxury of young, helpful grandparents?

And then on a practical level, how to compensate for this as much as we can. It's easy for us to trade off to give each other solo breaks, and we can use a babysitter for an evening. But I don't know when we'll ever be to get away by ourselves and be able to relax and reconnect, and I worry about the effect of that on our marriage. At what age is it ok to leave your child with a paid babysitter, or a friend maybe, overnight?  I've thought about DH and I taking the day off and doing something fun together while DS is in daycare. Any other strategies? [/quote]

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