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[quote=Anonymous]My sister married her high school sweetheart and settled in our very small, insular hometown. Our family quietly hoped for "more" for her, but it's her life. Cliche-style, her meddlesome mother-in-law lives a block away and is always coming by and fussing over her son.

BIL is a big weirdo. He's always been very scatter-brained and inappropriate thinking it's funny, but he seems to have gotten more eccentric over time. He's an artist in his spare time and will lock himself away for hours in his studio, smokes TONS of pot and becomes catatonic in front of TV, sells weird graphic art on Instagram but it seems to make him happy. He does hold down a 9-5 job working for his father (plumbing).

For the past three years, whenever I see my sister, which isn't much since they live in the Midwest, she is in tears about her husband. She says he drinks to the point of passing out a lot, does nothing with household stuff, accuses her of having mental illness, refuses to see a marital therapist, etc. She is ALWAYS complaining about how miserable she is with him but always "wants to make it work." She saw her own therapist who even outright told her to leave. Granted I am only hearing her side but it seems very odd.

Our parents divorced as a kid and I am sure this plays a part. We grew up with a single mom and saw how it could suck. She is also in our VERY PROVINCIAL, appearances-oriented hometown where her DH family is well known. On social media, she would think she had it all, so happy, etc. She also has three young kids (under 8) and I'm sure leaving would be a mess. Her MIL has already tried to begin winning kids over with snacks, candy, vacations etc.

My SIL has a job but not a ton of money, neither of them do, but her DH is backed by his family and we have none of that support. I'm not sure how to help her. She just wants to "make it work!" and help him "get better!" but...it sounds really awful? We are meeting for an annual family vacation this weekend (DH refuses to come) and I almost want to have a come to Jesus, like, you need to get out and here's how.

Ideas?? Stay out of it? Is this common in a marriage?? I just don't understand why she insists on staying and making it work when even HE has said he'd be OK separating and sharing custody (that is the other important point, he has even suggested it and she is resisting, so he isn't threatening her by withholding kids, tho perhaps the MIL would).

Oy.
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