Reply to stubborn senior declaring she would rather die falling at home than go into a nursing home

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[quote=Anonymous]I struggled with this a lot and got a lot of therapy. I have many obligations of my own and stressors and mom seemed to think I should just be at her beckon call. She also believed in taking advantage of the kindness of neighbors and they clearly no longer liked her.

First, you make your boundaries known. The more self-centered ones think it's no trouble to repeatedly upend your life as needed and the gratitude fades off so you need to really figure out what you can handle especially if you don't even get a warm fuzzy feeling because mom sees you as a servant. You want to make sure she understands your limits and in my case tantrums ensued.

You accept if she dies or gets seriously injured in her own while deemed cognitively OK she made these choices and died or got hurt living life on her terms.

If she ends up in the hospital you make sure the social worker knows how dire the home situation is and your boundaries. Some will try to guilt trip you into x, y and Z.Be comfortable with declining what you cannot do so they find the appropriate setting/situation.

Use this all to help you figure out how not to take advantage of and burn out your own children when the time comes.[/quote]

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