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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Who your spouse is hasn’t changed.  They are just now diagnosed and can learn a little more about themselves and receive treatment.

Whether or not your marriage survives kind of depends.  Borderlines typically marry narcissists. It’s likely that as your spouse gets more mentally healthy and their self esteem improves, they won’t put up with your crap anymore.  You will both have to change for the arraign to work.  
[/quote]

?? what? no, borderlines marry people who will tolerate their sh*t. the opposite of a narcissist. a partner to a borderline is much more likely to be passive and codependent, taken in by the borderline’s strong personality when it’s a positive, and then willing to subsume themselves to avoid triggering the borderline’s bad side. another pairing that works is a very emotionally obtuse man who just doesn’t care about the borderline’s antics (and lets the borderline wreak havoc on kids/stepkids/ILs.)

[/quote]

+1, I have never heard of borderlines marrying narcissists, I think that's uncommon and wouldn't work except maybe in a situation where the narcissist is a cover narcissist who feeds their sense of self-important by rescuing the borderline partner. But that would be a very specific situation. Usually partners to both BPD and NPD people have major codependency issues and often had a parent who was BPD or NPD.

Signed, child of a narcissist/codependent couple who has major codependency issues and has had to become aware of both how BDP and NPD display in relationships to avoid repeating that pattern[/quote]

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