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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Any advice from those who have kids in higher grades? I feel like SAT prep and other college prep work shouldn't be a big concern till at least 10th grade. But what should a new 9th grader kid/boy do, prepare, or try to do in 9th? I have a son going into a school where he will not know a lot of people. I [b]suggested he join a couple clubs[/b] but hard to make him do stuff at 14. Any positive suggestions? [/quote]

THIS. 100x.

Our child became pretty isolated during middle school, COVID shut-down not helping matters. Going into high school, we insisted they participate in a school-based extracurricular. They didn't choose one; so we chose one and made them do it. It was a fall activity; so it lasted through the first quarter. We told them they had to give it one season. After that, they never had to do it again, but would need to choose something else.

They did choose another activity for spring on their own; but returned to the "parent-forced" activity by their own choice in the fall and kept with it. It made all the difference. Now, we didn't choose something we knew they would hate in some effort to force them to choose something on their own. And they didn't go willingly at first. But they stuck it through and got to know a bunch of other classmates and made friends.

Don't let resistance or tears or excuses like "it's hard enough to transition to high school academics and demands" or "I won't have time because I'm taking a rigorous courseload." Don't back off with the rationalization that they need to get used to high school first and you'll make them join something in the spring.

A fall sport or marching band with practices or rehearsals before school starts is ideal because they meet people earlier and know more people on day one. But something that starts after the first day of school is fine. Just, the sooner, the better.

I know firsthand how hard it is to get unwilling kids to participate in clubs or activities. It took us a while; but we finally stuck to our guns and enforced it.  If it's a club, you can agree to a minimum amount of time or a minimum # of meetings - BUT, if they want to drop after that, they need to pick something else. And then again, a minimum threshold to meet before they can drop it and pick something else. A team sport or band, they need to commit for the season because it's not fair to the other members to quit mid-season.

Other than, I suggest he take the highest level of classes appropriate for his interests, abilities, and time management/stress tolerance. I don't know what school he'll be at, but there's a chance he may not have any friends he already knows on the same lunch. Our school ran chess in the library during lunch and that was a good way for our kid to at least interact with some others instead of sitting and eating by themself. And it's a structured enough activity that shy kids aren't left to flounder on their own trying to figure out how to make conversation.

That's my two cents.

[/quote]

+1 
We insisted DS join one extracurricular activity. He could pick but had had to do one minimum. Then we strongly encouraged one that we thought would be a good fit. It turned out great actually. Some of his friends do it too, he met upperclassmen who were kind to him and helped him to feel included, and he was even given some nascent leadership opportunities near the end of the year. He really enjoyed it, built his self esteem, did him a world of good. But we really, really had to push him to do this. He would not have done it on his own.

So just chiming in to let you know that they sometimes need a hard nudge to get out there. Do that. [/quote]

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