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[quote=Anonymous]Do not divert resources from your child to financially support your mother!

I’m in a similar situation with a single mother who has also consistently made bad financial decisions including a bankruptcy and deciding to retire/collect social security at 62 (in perfectly fine health but because she was tired of her white collar job) with no pension, no property and maybe 40k total in retirement savings/assets.

She has at times strongly hinted (though never directly asked) that she would like us to financially assist her, but like you we are upper middle class but not wealthy and subsidizing her would come at the expense of college savings and extracurriculars for my kids so it’s a hard no from me. Not to mention that based on her earlier patterns of seeking assistance from other relatives, I’m very cognizant of the fact that any such aid would just open the door for larger future asks.

It’s been over 10 years since she retired and she has managed to get by well enough on her reduced social security alone, living in a subsidized rental, so it’s definitely doable. We buy her nice gifts for birthdays/holidays and pay for flights for her to visit but draw the line there.[/quote]

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