Reply to How do you drop the rope when you have SN kids?

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Reply to "How do you drop the rope when you have SN kids?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I think you need to accept your DH as he is. Yes, it sucks and it's unfair. But if you want to stay married, this is how it is. It's okay to do less therapy, really, it's not worth it if you burn out or end up divorced-- that's worse for you and for the kid most likely.

It sounds like your DH is in denial of his parenting and also of the depth of his kids' needs. I would suggest you try to force it onto his radar just by making it all more visible to him. Make a calendar so that he can see all that you do-- color-code to make it really obvious-- and try to make sure he's present at the things that will force him to confront reality.

The more you vent and fret to your DH, the more he will tune you out. Choose your words carefully and don't talk at length. Say what you want to say very succinctly and then give a long awkward pause while he thinks about what to say in return.

If your DH does confront reality about his kids and his own parenting, he may go through a grieving or self-blaming process that can lead to a lot of anger and depression. Beware.[/quote]

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