Reply to How do you drop the rope when you have SN kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is OP - so you just do everything? How do you deal with the resentment and stay married?[b] He told me the other day he’s so proud that he’s an amazing husband and father and I just stood there stunned that his bar for himself is apparently on the floor[/b]. I have contemplated divorce in the past but won’t because of the kids. I have told him multiple times how unfair I find all of this and how lonely and I guess he thinks that’s fine? [/quote]

He gets this message outside the home - the bar IS low for men to be "good fathers" - they have to not leave and they win.

If I was you I would have started crying when he said that and explained that I'm drowning.

And, I did drop the rope with my SN kid. I'm not married to his dad, but my son moved to live with his dad who doesn't believe he has SN. I couldn't handle the co-parenting conflict anymore because it was seriously affecting my mental health (and on the advice of my therapist, took care of me by letting my child go). My child receives some of the required treatments, but not all, and he is unlikely to ever live fully independently, even though he could with the right supports.

I may regret allowing the change sometime in the future, but I don't right now. I couldn't do it anymore, it was going to kill me.[/quote]

PP back.

Get therapy for you. I know its one more thing to add to the list, but it's a helpful space to let out that resentment. [/quote]

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