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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My dad is a narcissist and the literature basics says that difficult people become elderly difficult people. They don’t mellow. If they were always controlling, inflexible and uncompromising they will be more of the same. My parents refuse to maintain their home but also refuse to move out, refuse to give up driving but complain about caregivers, won’t eat food that anyone else prepares, refuse to learn anything about technology but insist that we drop everything to go to their house to reset the tv channels etc. Pick fights and gossip and stir up trouble in the family and best of all keep score in terms of who drops everything and comes running most often,[/quote]

[b]Thx this is helpful- the point about difficult people becoming difficult elderly people….and I guess worse.  Not certain of the initial personality disorder and it went undiagnosed/treated for 80 years so here we are.[/b][/quote]

Sorry PPs - it is difficult to navigate someone like that, because you are damned if you do, and damned if you don't - and if the elder is looking for trouble, they will find it. Glad we are not alone!

In our case, the elder picks on one person as the "bad guy" and that person can do no right. It is called "splitting" in psych terms, and has to do with how that person (the elder) sees themselves. So, if they act out toward you or badmouth you - it has nothing to do with you, but everything to do with them, FYI. Anything related to their favorite offspring is perfect and golden. Fun times! [/quote]

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