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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I notice this too! But less in terms of their appearances and more in their bearing. I have an 8 yo DD and when I was a kid, 11-12 yo girls were giggly and awkward or even rude around adults.

The only word for the 11-12 yo girls I know from the pool and school these past few summers is “poised”! I fully agree with you, OP. I feel bad because I can’t figure out what is pressuring them to have it so together- are expectations that high? Have we conditioned them to be like this? I appreciate it but it’s also unnerving. They speak to me with a graciousness and back-and-forth ease that many of my adult acquaintances can’t manage.

The boys, on the other hand, don’t seem to be any different than they were in 1992. For all I know, the stuff I hear poolside might have been recorded when I was in middle school and is getting replayed on the speakers. It’s comforting in its own way.[/quote]

The way girls are parented has cheer since I was a kid. People are much more conscious now of not criticizing as much and being more encouraging. Girls are also encouraged to be comfortable and happy with their bodies, especially around puberty. When I was a girl, there was a lot of shame imposed on girls bodies in puberty and I think it contributed to that awkward shyness because girls knew their bodies were changing but felt like it was bad.

Conversely, I think boys used to get more encouragement and validation and get less now. I also think people just straight up don’t know how to parent or teach boys now because the old “boys will be boys” attitude is considered retrograde (and was pretty toxic when compared to the much stricter expectations for girls) but hasn’t really been replaced with anything. I think boys are often left to their own devices and this leads to immaturity.

Parents want to raise strong girls but just don’t want their boys to be jerks. This leads to more intensive, attentive parenting if girls and more hands off parenting of boys.[/quote]

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