Reply to My girlfriend is mean to her daughter and it makes me uncomfortable

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She sounds like an awful person. [/quote]

Except for this one thing, she is really awesome. She's funny and kind and interesting. I like her a lot except for this. I try to defend her daughter when she says mean things about her, but I've only met the kid a couple of times and don't know her well so it's hard. [/quote]
[b]You don’t have to know the kid at all[/b]. Just say- that’s an awful thing to say. Or “be careful, DD will actually think you’re being serious.” Or, “I would feel terrible if my mother said that.” I wouldn’t want that friendship either.[/quote]

This. Even if a kid is really difficult and a parent is struggling, what you describe is still bad, selfish parenting. It's actually worse if the kid is challenging or really struggling -- rather than working to address whatever is causing her behavioral issues, your girlfriend is just writing her off, putting her down, telling her the story that "you're terrible and I don't like you." Do you think that will lead to an improvement in behavior?

Also, sometimes parents who have split from their co-parent will take out their anger at the co-parent on the kid. Sometimes because the child reminds them of their co-parent, sometimes just because they are there. Anyone who does that is problematic, at best, and I woudn't want to date them.[/quote]

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