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[quote=Anonymous]
He can think and say what he wants. What matters is getting the financial support you are owed to raise your child how you think fit. Only consult him for things he's sure to say yes to, so he feels involved. If you hide tutoring that he later discovers but that you can somehow make him feel better about (the teacher said tutoring was needed?), is that better than asking for an approval that will never come? Document all the times you have proposed reasonable alternatives that he has ignored. Use strategies of mitigation and obfuscation to get what you want without pushing him beyond a point where he will rebel and decide to cause legal problems for you: that's an expense and a hassle you don't need. But other than that red line, the end justifies the means: this is your child's future earning potential we're talking about. She might be able to support you in your old age. Or at least you hope you won't have to support her in your old age ;-)

Your child needs to be as near a straight A student as possible in public school, because colleges are *very* selective and *very* expensive these days. Your child will benefit from merit aid at state schools if she's a stellar student, on top of any financial aid your household will be entitled to. If he's not willing to pay for college, this strategy will become crucial to your child's success. If funds are tight, she can also do 2 years at community college then transfer to UMD if she has the requisite GPA. But again, everything hinges on academics! This often takes significant parental or paid tutoring. I have a child with learning disabilities and a child without, and I have worked with both to get them into advanced classes. I paid for tutors to get my son through high school during the pandemic. He got into a good university with merit aid.

Stay strong, OP. You are doing the right thing.
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