Reply to The flaw in all the "How to live a happy life" books/articles/etc

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[quote=Anonymous]We've all heard that pursuit of wealth, status, success, material possessions, and so on doesn't make you happy in the long run. Instead, we're advised to focus on relationships and authentic human connections.

But there's one problem I can't find the answer to anywhere - what if no one you'd like to connect with is interested in connecting with you?

I am a mid-30s married mom. My partner and I don't have much family, and both work from home in remote organizations (i.e. everyone is scattered all over and also WFHs). I've been trying to put myself out there and meet people every way possible - Facebook and Meetup groups, through my kids' school, neighborhood, trying out hobbies, even church (though I'm not religious). I'm as proactive as a busy working mom can be, and have met hundreds of people.

But the people who I feel a spark with, those I'd like to get to know better, already have full social plates. Usually I'm drawn to other parents who
- love to travel and explore the local area and always trying new things (vs. just hanging out at home or doing the same kids activities each weekend)
- are smart critical thinkers who don't blindly follow either progressive or conservative views but really enjoy deep discussions of complex issues
- have a sense of humor
- don't subscribe to the whole UMC anxiety-inducing industrial complex of raising kids

I know these people are out there, because I met several and had a wonderful group of friends when I gave birth to my first. We were all on mat leave and looking for friends and it was just so easy. But that group fell apart, and most of us (including me) moved to different places. Now, when I meet people like this, they are all already "taken". I try to initiate get-togethers but they just don't respond or reschedule indefinitely.

I know you'll say, "Don't be picky", and "give others a chance", and I can assure you, I have been. I invite people over, do group events, chat with people, but I am just not feeling any real friendships develop. It's been a year and I just feel so unmotivated and sad. I don't want to hang out with these people anymore. I don't judge them at all, but we just don't have much in common.

I would love to meet even 1-2 friends that I can be really close to, but it feels impossible at this point. If you were me, what would you do? [/quote]

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