Reply to Any happily married people long to live alone?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Any happily married people long to live alone?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]OP it's easy for all of us to say "oh one day they'll all be gone and you'll miss this...", and I do think some clutter comes part and parcel with family life. But I have to tell you that as a single mom when I read stuff like this, the first thing I think of is how isolating it would feel if I was picking up, not only after my kids, but also a man. That's...so depressing. It's simplistic to go the whole "you have a husband problem" route, but you really do. You have a partner problem. Whether all of us agree with your standards or not, you're clearly miserable to go so far as wishing to live alone. Presumedly you enjoy your family beyond this mess they clearly leave out for you.

My first suggestion is to get your H on board so that you're battling this as a team; kids follow consequences and my DD isn't perfect but food wrappers left out don't happen in my house for a reason. But I understand that sometimes that just won't happen, given the number of vents on this board about men not helping (again, awful).

So, when I think about how to get a whole group to shape up, eliminating the "those aren't my dishes" nonsense, I think of the way they did it in the military: if one person's bunk is unmade, the whole platoon does pushups. Sounds crazy, but without group accountability they will 100% keep dumping it on mom who will pick up the Dorito bags. So, impose some rules. Trash out? Mom doesn't cook. Shoes out? Mom doesn't do laundry. Yes this involves you "dropping the rope" and you might have a disastrous house for weeks. But I don't see this ending unless your group gets on the same page and holds each other accountable (and by group I mean your H acting like an adult and setting an example so the kids follow).

Feel free to tell me this is dumb, as I don't routinely have to negotiate this stuff with a daily partner. On the other hand, I'm happy, my house is pretty tidy, and my kid picks up after herself. I hope things improve for you, truly.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics