Reply to DH does not take care of any life administration tasks

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am very frustrated with my DH and the distribution of "life administration" tasks in our household.

Basically, anything involving scheduling, logistics, money, or maintaining relationships falls on me. This includes all of the stuff for our kids and pest but also things that should be squarely on him in my view. Examples include making sure we keep in touch with and visit with his mother, setting up visits with his sister, scheduling hang outs with his friends and responding to birthday party invitations etc. that come through his contacts. Probably the most frustrating tasks are reminding him to set up doctor's appointments and dentist appointments, ensuring that his money stuff gets taken care of (example -- he wants to invest a bonus and just doesn't do it. Six months later, the money sits in his savings), and having to repeatedly remind him to take care of basic house repairs stuff.

I find this lack of initiative insulting -- it feels like I am majorly being taken advantage of -- and I find myself resenting him. I bring it up, he vows to change, and nada. There have even been a few instances where I've told him I am not reminding him or taking care of the tasks anymore and he will say, "Oh great, let me take that on." But then just drops the ball. I will get upset, he will vow to change, repeat.

FWIW, we both work full-time and have two small kids so I really am running out of bandwidth here. Any advice? [/quote]

So just don't do it.  If he doesn't keep in touch with his mother and no visit occurs, his mother can discuss it with him.  If he doesn't visit with his sister, she can discuss it with him.  If he doesn't schedule time with his friends, then he doesn't hang out with him.  If it's an invite to a bday party for your kid that came through his contacts, then you need to ask the contact to change who the invite is sent to or accept that your kid probably won't go unless you do something about it.  Setting up dr/dentist appts--if he really wanted to do it, he would.  It's not important to him so he doesn't.  It's important to you.  For the investments, again, if you care about it, do something about it.  If you just want him to do it, he's not going to and that's just fine with him.

My advice is accept him for who he is.  If the task that he's dropping impacts you or your children, step in.  If it doesn't, than let it go.  If you keep picking up the slack, he has no consequences for his actions.  Everything always works out for him (because you fix it) so why should he change.[/quote]

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