Reply to DD24 doesn’t drive, no real friends and no real job

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[quote=Anonymous]I have two adult kids who have special needs and without significant intervention will not be independent. But I don’t want them living in a box behind Home Depot when I die.

For the oldest, I helped him get a county job - pays a living wage, health insurance, a pension and paid leave. It’s not a satisfying job. But it pays the bills and the union protects him from being abused by his employer, which has been an issue in the past. He has training in a trade. But honestly, there are custodian jobs that require no training and have the same benefits.

The younger one has more serious issues. For him, I have cut all support except living in the house, phone plan (but not phone - he has to buy and pay for upkeep himself) and paying for mental health care. I am on vacation and left an empty refrigerator. His progress is slow but we’re moving forward. The sole goal is independence before I die and I work every day toward that goal. I’m sure that some things I do look like coddling, like I don’t kick him out, but you can’t look at anything in a vacuum.

My younger son has used school resources to help move forward. He was in a non mainstream HS program and they continue to offer support. It’s a huge resource and if you have this as an option I’d highly recommend trying it.

I have a brother with mental health issues. Siblings have had to care for him - some more than others and I don’t get the award here. I do not want to leave this legacy for my other kids. [/quote]

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