Reply to If Your Spouse is Ugly / Funny Looking

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "If Your Spouse is Ugly / Funny Looking"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Don't hate me. I know it sounds terrible. But you would also find his appearance startling. (Think most facial features are misshapen or too large/small, body is not typically proportioned, etc.)  My friends were shocked that I married him, based on looks. They are not shallow people; we are talking about extremes here.

So here's the thing. I married him because I thought he was smart, steady and kind-hearted. I'd be lying if I didn't say I preferred lights off at night, eyes closed. I could still enjoy the touch and intimacy because I did really love him. Sometimes, I admit to being startled by his appearance, after say, a long business trip.

Twenty years later, I've learned he is not who I thought he was. He is not a bad person, but he is also not a good person. He is colorless and selfish. He has been uncaring (never cruel!) with our special needs child.

I always discounted physical attraction, thinking it shallow. But now that I have so little to grasp, what is there to hold on to? I married him DESPITE his looks, thinking there were all these other wonderful qualities. That was my mistake, a foolish youthful projection. But now the things that always bothered me about his looks have moved to the forefront. Is that crazy? Do any of you find your spouses looks a big turn off, and how do you deal with it?

FWIW, DH is proud of how I look and that I attract people's attention. I actually find this very shallow of him. So many contradictory feelings![/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics