Reply to When people who don’t know you, dislike you

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

Yes, the two women are close friends with each other. So not two separate, random people who dislike me.

The way I found out is that a (male) friend of mine was inviting me to a thing he and his wife were hosting, and said “don’t worry, [the two women] won’t be there.” I was confused and asked why that mattered, having no real opinion on them either way, and he said “oh, I just heard from [his wife] that you guys don’t get along.” Which was news to me and further confusing because we’ve barely interacted.

I then asked his wife about it and she confirmed they don’t like me, said she thought I knew and that the women are vocal about it, and also said she assumed “something” had happened to cause a falling out. She said she was on my “side” but I don’t even want there to be sides!

I see what the PP is saying about friend groups but I mean, I didn’t set out to have friend group like this. I just made friends through school and work and hung out with my friends and as we got older, more people got incorporated into the network and now I guess it’s a loose friend group.

Now it feels like a combustible situation because while I don’t care about these two women, I do worry about this impacting my friendships with others and my belonging in the group, if they are talking about it enough that people feel like they need to be on a side or be careful about inviting us all to the same stuff.

Ugh, I know this all sounds like lame friend drama and I hate it. I don’t want stuff like this in my life.[/quote]

I posted earlier but I think your feelings are valid and it’s not lame because it does seem like really unnecessary toxic crap. There are a few schools of thought and I don’t think either are wrong- it’s just personal preference. Either you avoid most or all gatherings that include these 2 women, or when you do go to things where they will be there, hold your head high and think of knowledge as power. This can inform how and how often you engage with them.[/quote]

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