Reply to Husband is not there for me in my grief

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. I think I have a lot of resentment at my husband for not pursuing a higher paying professional track and not listening to me when I had told me I was concerned about fertility while we were waiting to TTC.

So I don’t blame him for running away, exactly. But I don’t have anyone to help me with my grief. I think I am also angry at myself for choosing a low paid career and I guess I assumed I’d meet a guy who made more but I fell in love with my husband and thought we could make it work. [/quote]

OP, you need a therapist. I am not at all surprised that your husband isn't there for you in your grief - you blame him for it! For not making enough money. At the end of the day, that's what it boils down to. You believe that if he made more money, you would have a baby now, and while that's possible, it's certainly not guaranteed. Either way, he knows you think this is all his fault, even if you have tried to conceal it. Even when you are taking responsibility for your own resentments, you basically say you're angry with yourself for not choosing a more wealthy mate also!

Apologize to your husband. Recognize that the grief of infertility makes people lash out inappropriately. It is toxic and will absolutely kill your marriage if you allow that pattern to continue. [/quote]

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