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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wouldn’t do this until you have a really good idea of her cognitive decline. My mother was really good at masking it. It wasn’t until I went in vacation with her that I realized the full extent if it. No way could I have her live with me since I work and I have teenagers.

You need to encourage her to stay with her dad. Financially they don’t have enough money to divorce. [/quote]

I posted already, but agree with this and I think the person meant "your" dad not "her" dad. I have seen this play out in different ways in my family and with friends. The family member with cognitive issues complains incessantly about a family member and everything. Another family member plays rescuer and swoops in and tries to save the day. eventually parent with cognitive issues turns on rescuer and rescuer becomes target and the person she complains about. You start to understand "no good deed goes unpunished." Once she is living in your home, good luck getting her out without massive drama and possible major decline and even illness. I would not even take her for a week.

You know what you can do? Help, don't enable. Suggest they work with a geriatric social worker or therapist. Not your problem if she declines. You could see if they would allow you to hire an aging care expert to assess the situation and make recommendations within their budget.

The good side of your brother moving is there are more people to act as buffers and to keep an eye on her health. If he is too self-0absorbed to do that, not your problem. This is her child not yours. [/quote]

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