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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I think you need a more airtight excuse for dropping off with her, so that when she gets aggressive about hanging out, you can point to a neutral but strong reason that you can't. Over and over.

I think this is a situation where a white lie is merited, since it genuinely won't hurt anyone (in fact it will spare her feelings more than simply telling her what your issue is) and it will help extract you from a friendship that clearly IS hurting you.

The standard excuses are: health, kids, other family, work commitments. I don't even think you have to choose just one -- are any of these even remotely true? Rotate through. Summer schedule is all out of whack with kids out of school and travel, can't make it. Oh wow things started heating up a lot at work in September, maybe next time! My ILs are being really difficult about holidays this year, I have to focus on that, I'm sorry. I'm going a New Years thing where I really prioritize sleep and diet and self-care right now, so I'm really boring to hang out with right now -- going to bet at 9 every night and not drinking or eating out. And so on. Not a strict lie, but some exaggerations. I think if you just keep saying no, she will eventually move on. She might still lash out at you, but that's probably better than either a confrontation or continuing with the friendship.[/quote]

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