Reply to Friend’s behavior is increasingly uncomfortable

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You can just be completely honest and say &quot;I think what you are doing is wrong and I need to distance myself.&quot; Why is that not an option?[/quote]

NP and I agree with the approach above, but OP wrote this:

[i]In the past when I’ve dropped off a bit she gets aggressive in terms of the calls/texts so it’s not a situation where I can just slowly move on.[/i]

To the OP: You sound somewhat afraid of her, frankly. Are you? When you say she &quot;gets aggressive in terms of the calls/texts&quot; do you mean you fear that if you say what the PP above recommends (in other words, direct and frank honesty, announcing you are done), she will bombard you with contact? Isn't it as likely that she'll just block you entirely?

I also agree with a poster above who notes that she might lash out by telling lies to make YOU out to be problematic or unethical, and others might choose to believe her. But neither that nor fear of her either bombarding you or blocking you should be reasons to remain friendly with her. This really is a case of her friendship being damaging to your soul, in a way; you clearly feel very queasy and wrong around her and you should not live with that. Do not try to change or convince her; she won't get it or try to be better. Don't try to slow fade--that sounds good but it only prolongs things. I'd tell her that the accumulated examples of her ethical problems--and if they are problems in your mind, they are problems, period!--means that you have decided to end the friendship and you are asking her not to contact you any more. It's sad, especially if she has a side that you like, but you are associating yourself, your reputation and your own ethics with someone you know for certain is unethical. And that kind of unethical is ultimately very self_centered as well&gt;

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