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[quote=Anonymous]This is a vent/gut check kind of post, I guess. I am a DW who works a job that is mostly in-person (3-5 days per week in the office, depending on what is going on, generally I can squeak in one telework day). It's in DC, about a 40-minute commute to our house. I am able to be about as flexible as I would want to be, aside from the in-person requirement, which I have made peace with. I carry our health insurance, which is extremely good, and I am the breadwinner by about $60k.

DH works largely from home (3-4 days per week at home) and when he does have to go in, it's a much shorter commute -- 15 minutes tops. We have one kid in early elementary and another in pre-K who also has some special needs and needs to be driven to therapy. He generally is the one who does the after-school pick up for the elementary DC and I grab our younger DC from daycare on the way home.

My DH is not happy in his job for a number of reasons, many of which are legitimate, but he has a lot of stability and pretty much infinite flexibility. I feel like his WFH capability combined with the proximity of his office to our house are what allow the logistics of our life to work (camps ending at 4pm, after school activities, therapy for the youngest, etc.). He is looking for new jobs and is in the final round for something that is 5 days a week in office in DC and would likely expect at least 9-5 hours, which is not at all unreasonable but would really decimate our logistics. They haven't talked money yet (big red flag IMO), but I think he would make more than what he does now but less or about the same as I do. This would be a really good title and could possibly lead to other opportunities. I also think his professional contacts would find the move impressive.

But the logistics just won't work and there is no chance it will pay enough that I can take a lower paying, more flexible job (I have had trouble finding this anyway), and certainly it won't pay enough that I can quit.

I am so frustrated and flustered that he is considering this. Of course, I want him to be happy, but I am hanging on by a thread many weeks with our life logistics, and this would really throw things into a tornado. On the other hand, I feel selfish for not letting him pursue something he really wants to do.

Am I unreasonable to be bothered by this?

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