Reply to How much did I hurt my friend.

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[quote=Anonymous]I agree with the PPs.  You both sound like very good friends and you're both lucky to have the relationship you do - not everyone does.  I think things would have been easier if you'd been physicaly closer because this issue would have come up much sooner and you would have worked through any awkwardness earlier.  None of us should have to edit important events in your life.  We stress to our kids (NT and SN) that we shouldn't be comparing our achievements with others because the important thing is to do the best with what you've got.  The real measure of acheivement is doing your best and working hard.  This is what we celebrate.  Do we all feel best about accomplishing things that were hard and not easy?  It sounds like perhaps you and your firend were both editing things in your life in an effort to minimize awkwardness and this was just a moment when there was a slip.  I think it would be a great opportunity for you to say to your friend some of the things you've posted here so you can more easily move beyond this and stop walking on eggshells.  I especially like the idea of the McDonald's gift certificates.

I also wanted to say that I have moments like your friend where it's hard for me to remember that it really is about doing the best with what you've got.  "Envy" isn't quite the right word but for lack of a better one - I 'envy' the ease some have.  I wish things came easier.  But, that's just a weak moment and it doesn't mean I want to stop hearing about the acheivments of my friends' kids.  It's my issue, not theirs and I don't want them to stop sharing and I don't want them walking on eggshells around me!  You sound like a great person.[/quote]

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