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[quote=Anonymous]Totally, totally normal. It hasn't happened to me, but several of my friends (though many of those were surprise third pregnancies, but I don't think that's any different.)

A few things:

1) It's totally normal to be emotionally all over the place. Give yourself some time and grace. Pregnancy is nine months which is a LONG time and some people need every minute, and then some, to emotionally prepare.

2) Be honest with your husband (and other close confidants) about how you feel. If you put on a fake happy face because that's "what you're supposed to feel" (ugh) then the people around you are likely to approach this with enthusiasm and excitement, which will make you feel MORE guilty, and you don't need that. What you need is support from people who love you and will be there for you as you figure out where you go from here.

3) Everything you're worried about is surmountable. Really.

4) Pregnancy termination is a safe and legal option (at least in DC). If you decide this isn't the right path for you and your family, that's totally fine. People associate abortion with young, irresponsible, single women, but the reality is different - 60% of women who have an abortion each year already have children, and among those women, the number one reason cited is that having another child may impede their ability to raise the child(ren) they already have. Abortion is not the antithesis of being a good mother - often they go hand in hand.

I know I'm just a stranger on the internet, but my heart goes out to you. You'll find a path forward that works for you, but you don't need to figure it all out today. It's going to be okay. [/quote]

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