Reply to Splitting (people good/bad) and seeing loved ones as bad..How common with Alzheimers?

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Reply to "Splitting (people good/bad) and seeing loved ones as bad..How common with Alzheimers?"

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[quote=Anonymous]   Wondering how common this is. My mother did this mildly when we were growing up. She was mildly rigid in deciding who was "good" according and who was "bad," but she had input from my father, relatives and friends and could bend a little. Then by the time we were all young adults, she was able to have a more nuanced view of people having multiple strengths as well as qualities she didn't care for. We developed a nice friendship when I became an adult. Now as Alzheimers sets in she really into splitting. I became the BAD one because I noticed the signs the earliest and was there helping her and visiting often. She hates me! (She has actually said that to family members). A few random cousins she maybe has seen twice in the past few years are the good ones as is one of my siblings. They can do no wrong. She has also decided some other random people are saints-a hairdresser, her housekeeper, her accountant, a neighbor who avoids her and most recently some random checkout person she just met. I am the worst one on her list (and was closest to her before this decline), but sadly she has chosen a few friends who are now "bad!" I feel for them because they are lovely people. I don't think they have experienced mean alzheimers in their own families (one had a mom who became childlike and remained sweet).

Have you all experienced this? I saw one post here that seemed to echo my experience a while back. Also, any other black sheep out there? It was painful the first year or 2 because she lashed out at me and insulted me so much, but I got therapy and detached and have learned to accept this as something I cannot control. I adapted, but still now and then when I think about it I am stunned by this turn of events. I feel like we are complete strangers and I actually look forward to her forgetting who I am in the hopes then I can be a visiting stranger who she decided she likes. Is there hope for that? Any stories of the afflicted parent forgetting you and finally giving up the hatred? Maybe she would like me more as a stranger than she does as a daughter?[/quote]

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