Reply to Reasonable limit on communication with former emotional affair partner?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Reasonable limit on communication with former emotional affair partner?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Can anyone suggest or has anyone had experience with putting a reasonable limit on communications between spouse and his/her former “emotional affair” partner?
Is it a case of the only good limit is NO communications? 
Or is there a way to transition the relationship from “emotional affair” back to a friendship that would work?
[b]If it is possible, there is some strong desire here not to totally lose contact with 3rd party who is a good person and valued friend[/b].

[/quote]

Sorry, I'm confused. It's your spouse, NOT you, OP, who had the EA -- is that right? So who is this "third party"? The emotional AP's spouse or significant other who is also a friend of yours? Please clarify. The AP is not a "third party" to the affair.

And by the way, even when you clarify, the answer is: No, your spouse can't stay in ANY communication with the former AP and cannot transition back to friendship. That is simply begging for trouble. Cheating spouse must go cold turkey, block and delete all contact. You KNOW this yourself, but does your spouse know it? Is your spouse who had the emotional affair the one who is pushing to stay friends with the AP and saying it's so you can stay friends with AP's spouse, or what?? Or is that coming from you?

But the answer remains: Nope. You and spouse both lost the friendship of the AP (if AP was your friend too) as well as any friendship with the AP's spouse or whoever this third party is. It is simply asking for more trouble to try to maintain friendships in this situation. Your cheating spouse burned that bridge for both of you. Double down on working in therapy or whatever with your spouse to repair your own relationship, and stop focusing on wanting to keep any relationship with either AP or the AP's third party (still confused about that term here....).

If the third party is the AP's spouse and is a "good person and valued friend," the BEST thing you can do is to exit this good person's life along with your spouse who helped betray that person. Your staying in contact would be a constant reminder of the fact your spouses had an affair.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics