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[quote=Anonymous]I am 37 years old. I have been married for 10 years. I am a stay-at-home mom. My affair began a little over a year ago with a married man. My affair partner & I bonded over our similar marital issues. I had never cheated before. He confessed to having several one night stands. The marital issues I was experiencing were lack of intimacy/affection. For several years prior to my affair, intimacy was always initiated by me and almost always met with rejection. My high sex drive & craving for affection got the best of me. My affair partner & I texted constantly and met at least once a week to have sex. Often getting hotel rooms & talking for hours. I will be honest, the sex was amazing. I felt alive and wanted. I felt entertained and excited. Last night, my affair partner began drinking & confessed to his wife. His wife sent me a long, threatening & justified message on Facebook. She told me if I contacted her husband ever again she would call my husband. I panicked. I called my mom. I blocked his wife. I deleted most of my social media. I’ve been crying non-stop since this morning. I’m selfishly trying to get comfort from my husband. My husband has no idea why I’m such a mess. I told him it’s due to our marital issues. I feel horrible. Deep down, I want my affair partner to contact me. I’m literally waiting for a text. To make things worse, my affair partner is moving into my neighborhood in less than a week (small town). His wife has no idea I live here. I want to repair my marriage. I want my husband to want me in the same way my affair partner does/did. I want my affair partner too. I’m a complete mess. I feel so lost. I just deleted his number from my phone. I have been feeling very tempted to text him. I’m feeling lost. I miss him horribly. Logically, I know letting go & moving on is for the best. However, I still want him badly. I don’t want to move on. He tried to get me to leave my husband for him so many times. I wouldn’t. I was too scared. I didn’t know if that would be the right decision. I didn’t want to hurt my husband. I want this pain of missing him to go away. I’m 24 hours into this and it feels debilitating. This all happened so abruptly yesterday morning. I keep wondering why he hasn’t tried to contact me. I’m keeping my Instagram active in case his wife made him delete my number & he wants to contact me. I feel like I’m going insane. [/quote]

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