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[quote=Anonymous]Part of this is just teen boys. 
Part of it is still some social after-effects from the pandemic.

Is he engaged in any other types of activities like sports or band?

My 12 year old son got cancelled in middle school after George Floyd's murder because he said you can support police and fight racism at the same time.  And went without a friend group for a while, but it wasn't as horrible because everyone was socially isolated.  I spent a lot of time taking him to solo activities like skiing so he at least was not on the internet.

He got in with a bad crowd in 9th grade and got in a lot of trouble with fighting and vaping.  Got suspended for fighting.

Something clicked and he decided to stop getting in trouble.   That meant , for him, dropping all his friends.  He was friendless most of 10th grade (and had excellent behavior and amazing grades).   I continued to try to invest in taking him places, getting him engaged in other activities, etc.

He finally joined a spring sport at high school and started making friends with kids who don't fight/vape/skip class/etc.   That doesn't mean everything is socially perfect.

But I would focus on getting him exposed to groups and activities outside that old friend group. I pretty much forced my son to work the summer between 9th and 10th grades. Made him mature a bit, see that the world was more than high school, and I really think it helped him as he went back to school.

I am really sorry you are going through a separation at the same time. I know that would emotionally exhaust me, and it would be so hard to extend what little energy you have to helping your son navigate through this.   Start in baby steps, perhaps.   Does he have any interest in swimming/lifeguarding for example?  Sign him up for the lifeguard certification class this summer.   Get him involved in something a bit different from his regular habits, and it might help him see things a bit differently.  It may help him acquire more social skills.  It may even expose him to some other kids who could become friends. Sending hugs.  I know it can be really rough.[/quote]

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