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[quote=Anonymous]I can't control whether I will become a huge burden or how long I will live. I worry about this and I also take care of an elderly family member who is not my parent and it is a huge amount of work. At the same time, I don't think people should have kids/get married just for the sake of having someone to take care of them. Another relative had the misfortune of outliving her 3 children and her spouse, so even being married and having children doesn't guarantee anything. We should all have a plan.

I do feel resentful sometimes but mostly because it is so isolating.

Right now my plan is:

- To be a loving and caring person to others as much as possible. I care about my family member because they cared about me.
- Maintain well executed AMDs, POAs, and a will as well as detailed records on all my assets, insurance, etc. so if something happens people can easily take over
- Long term care insurance or self insure so assets are not an issue
- Make a care plan for myself that details what I want to happen in certain situations that will make it easier on loved ones ("If I need help with activities of daily living, please don't care for me at home")
- Compensation: I don't want to leave the person who is stuck with me empty handed but not sure how that will work yet.
- Be forthright with my family about my finances/health situation. Give my valuables away during my lifetime. Involve loved ones in big decisions for my care once I reach a certain age (e.g., don't be stubborn and nonsensical).

It sounds like your brother is young, though? Maybe you're projecting a lot on him? TBH it's far more likely you will be taking are of him than your kids...[/quote]

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