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[quote=Anonymous]I was everyone's caregiver until; I developed my own health issues. Turned out my own parents and my aunt head buckets and buckets of money that could be used for a case manager and hired care. They also could have afforded continued care from early on so they didn't do in those of us who cared.

I think the people who throw around "that is what you do for family" or "blood is thicker than water" are often some of the most selfish and entitled people who would gladly eat their young or their nieces and nephews.

The most selfless and kind kind elders I know were taken advantage themselves until they set boundaries and they planned much better for their own care. I now visit my other aunt more than I do my own mother or the aunt who took advantage because this aunt is loving and appreciative and didn't expect her children or nieces or nephews to do themselves in doing things she could have done themselves.

We will move the continued care. We will have a lawyer or accountant taking care of managing our finances when we cannot. I am also looking into my options for peaceful death by choice if I develop severe illness or dementia. In my family dementia turns into abusive and aggressive dementia where you target the person there for you the most. I will fly to another country if I have to make sure I don't abuse my own children and I can die with dignity and only give them pleasant memories.[/quote]

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