Reply to Tried to set boundary, mother is making doctors appointments on my behalf

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[quote=Anonymous]
They suffer extreme anxiety about your health. No contact isn't necessary if they are OK other ways but they need serious retraining and that means consequences, namely, you walk out/hang up if they bring up health issues again.

II get that you couldn't hide the Lyme from them and I think you did all the right things in how you engaged so far - you also returned to them with a positive update, for goodness' sakes.

I would not reply to your dad's email [u]at all[/u]; he wants a reply; deny him that satisfaction and don't let the "bully" crap bother you. (Of course they're the ones bullying, but saying so really gains nothing and puts you down on his level.)

Reply to mom's text once only: "I won't be sending medical files to anyone. Please cancel that appointment and do not make any appointments for me again, ever. My doctors are fine." Then do not reply at all to any further texts from her on the topic. You do need to reply to the one text to be clear she must cancel, but otherwise, no replies on this topic EVER. A text about the kids' day? Sure. A text about the schedule for Thanksgiving? Sure. Health? Silence. Crickets.

They likely will bombard you for a time. Have a firm script when you speak to them by phone or see them in person at all: "I hear your concern. We have good doctors. If you keep bringing up health advice, I'll need to leave. How about those Nationals, eh?" or whatever topic Changes. The. Subject. Every. Time. But only in person/on phone and do be prepared actually to walk out the door with a wave and a smile, or on the phone say every single time, "OK, we're getting into health advice territory. I have to pick up the kids now. Hanging up, bye." By text or email? ZERO engagement.

If they do an end run around you to try to contact your spouse about your health etc., well, prepare your spouse now with your plan where you simply cannot see or hear communications on the subject. Every other subject? Love you, mom and dad! This subject? You don't even hear it. Spouse should do the same.[/quote]

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