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[quote=Anonymous]I recently had surgery that has made me dependent on others for the most basic tasks, like getting in and out of bed.  My spouse will help me when I ask, but complains about it and makes it obvious they feel put upon.  This makes me feel like I can’t ask them for help and makes me feel unsupported and disappointed. (If you can’t depend on your spouse in times like this, who can you depend on?)

Knowing that my spouse isn’t good when times are tough, I hired someone to help out but we can only afford so manyhours a day.  Our kids are being helpful, but have activities if their own.  My mom came to help, but she’s elderly and very limited in her physical abilities.  Bottom line, how do I get my spouse to be more helpful?  I’ve expressed gratitude for every little thing they do, and I do what I am able to do to be kind and thoughtful- like massaging their hands for example.  Is there a way to get my partner to have a better attitude about helping out in my post-op recovery?  It is just so hurtful to see that ensuring my well-being is an irritation, rather than a priority.[/quote]

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