Reply to “Don’t sweat the small stuff”

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Reply to "“Don’t sweat the small stuff”"

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[quote=Anonymous]This kind of response REALLY bothers me.

I got this a lot when I was pregnant with my first and during his first year. “Oh, none of this stuff matters,” “it all works out” that kinda stuff and it was WILDLY unhelpful and condescending even when said “nicely.” And as a seasoned mom of three, I don’t even think that is accurate. I mean, yeah, which preschool your kid was in doesn’t matter when your kid is 14. But it DOES matter for the years you’re in it! Doing research when I was pregnant with my first on which swaddles were best (for example) led me to register for SwaddleMe swaddles, which worked great for all three kids. Reading a bunch of sleep books and talking about sleep training experiences with other parents in those early months helped me determine what made sense and led to me being able to confidently sleep train all three using one of those methods. Yeah, some of it didn’t work out how I’d hoped (the sugar intake of my toddlers definitely went up with each kid, and so did their screen time) but dismissing all the work and essentially emotional labor I was doing (and still do!) to figure out how our family will operate as we raise kids is super crappy and comes off as condescending no matter how you phrase it.

If they’re stressing about sleep training, what’s actually helpful is to say “here’s what I did, I would/would not do it again, here’s what I learned from doing it.” Now, if someone is trying to, for example, choose between preschool A and preschool B, you can at some point tell them that you think either preschool would be great (ie, there is no bad option). But honestly, either participate in the discussion of pros and cons or exit the discussion. [/quote]

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