Reply to How to help DH keep his cool with our kids?

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[quote=Anonymous]We have 2 kids, 2 and 4 years old.  The 2 year old can be quite a handful and has been going through a biting and hitting phase that's seemingly lasted forever.  Last night, he was up for about 3 hours total simply hysterical for some reason- I don't know if he'd had a nightmare or what.  He's also started a new classroom at daycare, which probably is the underlying cause.  He was screaming NO repeatedly and it was almost like he was having a night terror, but we could have a conversation with him.  Unfortunately, he was writhing around, hitting, scratching, biting, kicking, and pinching.  Obviously this is bad enough during the day, but after we'd been up with him for several hours in the middle of the night, patience was wearing thin.  My husband yelled STOP several times in a tone that I thought was way too harsh.  Of course yelling made our son cry even harder.

I told DH this morning that while I understand it's a very trying time, especially when DS is deliberately trying to hurt us, that he needs to keep his cool better and that yelling only makes it worse.  There was a pause and then he said back, "Well, you're guilty of that too."  Actually, I'm not really, but whatever.  I told him that we both need to do a better job.

How can I help DH with his patience better?  He knows that patience is not his strong suit overall, not just with the kids.  And how can I help him snap out of it, for lack of a better term, when incidents happen in the most trying of circumstances- like at 3am, with a hysterical kid who is hitting and biting?  We don't spank, but I feel like I can sense a spank coming in the tone of voice DH uses.[/quote]

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