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[quote=Anonymous]I know this comes up pretty regularly on this forum but I find this forum a better place to vent than real life so here goes.

There’s always been an inequity in my family when it comes to money.  My grandmother was extremely wealthy and my dad and his many siblings grew up in luxury. My grandmother was a narcissist and she used her money to divide and manipulate.  Her money, her choice, but it really did a number on the kids who loved her unconditionally who she would rub in their faces the money she was giving the other siblings who frankly treated her poorly.  There was always inequity and my dad never felt truly loved by her as he believed that she showed her love financially, and he was never a recipient of that love/her money.

Growing up I was always the one who worked hard (I was 13 when I started working).  My brother, who I adore, was the dreamer and the risk taker and from his 20’s to 40’s he made and lost more money than I’ll ever earn in several lifetimes.  Due to the volatile nature of his lifestyle my dad thought he should give my brother a monthly stipend to help support his lifestyle (million+ dollar home, lots of extravagant toys) while never offering a penny to me.  I’ve been a government worker since I got out of college and my now XH and I never made more than $150k/yr combined at the height of our marriage.  I’m stable but live a frugal lifestyle out of necessity.

Now my dad is gone and my mom decided a few years ago to start gifting $15k/month to her grandkids (my one and my brothers two).  Mine is older than his are by a few years, my XH has remarried and started a new family and I’m the only person who mine will inherit from.  My brothers kids already have college funds and trust funds set up from his wife’s family and may never have to work.  My mom has decided that next year she wants to stop the gift to my son because my brother’s kids “need it more” and because she only sees my son once or twice a year (he’s in college and only comes home once or twice a year, and he splits his time when he is home between my house and his dads so she literally sees him
every time he’s home).  My brother lives in another state and my mom only sees his kids once every year or two.

I know it’s her money to do with what she wants but I am her caregiver at this point and I juggle taking care of her (almost a full time job) with my actual full time job and as much of a social life as I can manage.  I manage all aspects of her life and frankly that alone is pretty thankless.  I just can’t help but feel really hurt and irritated at the situation.  I know I need to get over it but it’s just one more glaring example of how unequal everything is.  And before anyone asks, she can more than afford it.

I just needed to vent.  I know I’ll get slammed for feeling bad about this and I am very grateful for what she’s already done.  But it just seems so unfair (yes I know life isn’t fair).  [/quote]

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