Reply to We think my mom is gaslighting dad

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sure, I’ve been doing hospice work for nearly a decade and before that was an advocate and attorney for many years, much of it doing domestic violence advocacy and later prosecution of domestic abuse.

Your mom is an abuser OP. You get that, right? It’s seriously toxic abuse to inflict a faux medical condition on your kid like your mother did to you. And it sounds like she’s made your father’s life a living hell for a whole lot longer than this current stage of cognitive decline - but as she declines she is very likely to get a lot worse, abusers rarely get nicer with age as they become demented.

Please sit down with your dad one on one. It is well past time to talk about the dirty family secret about mom. You should be focused on helping your dad get the outside support he needs to cope with the abuse he’s been living with as he’s forced to be a caregiver for his abuser.

So sorry for you both.   [/quote]

Make sure you truly understand what is going on. Spend more time there if you need to and get an assessment by a neurologist, but also by a social worker who visits the home multiple times to assess. Your dad has to want things to be different. Some couples are mired in dysfunction and insanity and when you try to fix things they result is the "fixer" gets dragged into the mud with them and nothing improves. I would get yourself help and approach this carefully. [/quote]

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