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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]the reality is there still isn't really much that can prevent or slow down decline. several of the drugs that claim to provide cognitive benefits have some severe personality side effects.

it was clear both of my parents had pretty severe memory and cognitive issues when my mom arranged for my dad to have an evaluation-- the doctor was willing to enroll dad in his ongoing study, which could have provided some additional monitoring and medicines, but mom then refused to allow dad to join the study, so that was useless.

anyway, that was 6 years ago. Mom hasn't really known who i am for the last 3 years, and has not had much access to language for two years. Dad was moderately functional until about two and a half years ago; anesthesia fro a heart procedure triggered increasing anger and hallucinations and they were both institutionalized together two years ago. Dad died last month, somehow mom is still hanging on. cognitive failure is a long slope. My Dad had had a TBI in 2005, so we knew that there were long-term effects. And I had my suspicions about my mom's functioning for at least the last 8-10 years.

instead of trying to get a formal answer on where, exactly, either parent is cognitively, it is far more important to try to get finances and paperwork in order.

do they have wills, trusts, healthcare advanced directives, and durable powers of attorney set up? do the DPOAs name any alternate DPOA in the event their primary (presumably their spouse) cannot serve? are their pensions/life insurance policies/LTC policies all properly set up with the correct beneficiaries, premiums paid, etc?

are the most critical bills (mortgage, car insurance, life insurance, health insurance) set up to be auto-paid, or are they still writing checks monthly for things? (most checking accounts allow you to set up scheduled payments OUT, if they have concerns about allowing utilities to pull any amount they want from their checking account.)

is there any possibility of either one getting lost? is it possible to set them up with iphones/iwatches/air tags with location sharing turned on? etc. 
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Op here. I think what people are missing is that my mother is convinced my Dad is declining but we don't see evidence. She has been unstable for my entire life. Like she used to put me in a back brace unstable because she thought I had scoliosis. I don'thave scoliosis. She thought I had hypoglycemia. I don't! She always did this without doctors. She has my father on a strict "eat right for your blood type" diet and screams at him while he drives that he can't take a highway or toll road when he is perfectly fine. She badgers him about everything.  If anything he is her caretaker because she doesn't walk well. But she says he is declining. My sister who is a nurse and spends more time with them doesn't see it. I talk to him and he is fine. If anything, it is my Mom who actually slips and calls my Dad by his first name when she talks to me. Has anyone encountered anything like this? 
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