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Reply to "How do you protect yourself from being hurt by your parents' toxic comments?"
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[quote=Anonymous]I have emotionally immature immigrant parents too who were also abusive, and I have had a couple years of therapy that has been helpful. At some point, I realized I'm not a child anymore, and I don't have to let their words and actions effect me in a negative way. It required some emotional distancing in a way that I can still love them, care about them, but deal with the problematic stuff in an objective way that is more about being the adult, and solving a problem. You have to know what you can handle, and what you cannot. I also had to accept my parents' flaws and learn to forgive them and empathize with them. And that part was especially hard, because of years of deep seated resentment, but I was able to do it, and ultimately it was freeing for me. And then I was able to lovingly set boundaries without anger.[/quote]
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