Reply to Going Back to an Abusive Relationship

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[quote=Anonymous]Hi there, OP, I understand what you are going through in that I've been in a verbally abusive relationship for over 10 years, with two small children.  I can tell you that it really is a cycle. That they go through the &quot;honeymoon&quot; phase (which I'm in again now) and when they have you, they creep back to their old ways -- and you are walking on eggshells again.  I can't turn back time for myself, and I wouldn't trade my two beautiful children for the world.  But, I strongly advise you to please, PLEASE cut things off now, dont have children with him especially.  My DH didn't begin his true &quot;abuse&quot; until after we had children, and he knew I was really &quot;trapped&quot; with him in a way.........  How do you know that the true colors he already showed aren't the baseline honeymoon phase? That it could get much much worse. The fact that he has already pushed you off a bed is the biggest red flag -- that he has already crossed the line from verbal to physical abuse.

Tell your family about him and expose his ways so they don't inadvertantly pressure you to get back together.  Do you have financial resources to live independently&gt;? What is the attraction to getting back together wih him? Are you afraid of being alone? Afraid you won't find love again? You sound young and that you can bounce back.

Good luck!  I'm sorry for all you've been through. I assume you've read Patricia Evan's &quot;The Verbally Abusive Relationship?&quot;  It is a must-read and I cried for a day as I read it, watching my life play out over the pages of a book.  It might give you the perspective you need to not go back to this toxic relationship.[/quote]

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