Reply to DH pulling me into the middle and expecting me to implement his ideas

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It really doesn't sound like big enough of a deal for OP to act like she's being asked to organize a dinner party for 1000 people all by herself.  [/quote]

Because it involves another person who may or may not like to be roped into this kind of connection with total strangers.

If I were the OP I'd be very uncomfortable approaching Peter, whom I'm not close to, to ask whether he'd talk to someone who might share his illness, not knowing if he'd even want to discuss it with anyone at all. It's a very intrusive ask.

I had a family member who used to do this to me all the time, and it's tiresome. They could not think it through beyond their own good intentions, other people's comfort, privacy,  and boundaries be damned. [/quote]

In that case, OP should not have responded to her DH and Joe earlier that, quote:  "I'm sure Pete would be willing to talk to him if he has questions."

She should have just said "I'm not that close to Pete so I'm not comfortable speaking to him about this."

Instead, she wants to turn it into a much bigger deal about her husband making excessive demands on her time and "expecting [her] to implement his ideas."  It's no surprise that she is in therapy or that her therapist won't attach a label to it because it's not unusual for spouses to make such requests of each other.

Sheesh.  [/quote]

Sure, OP's response was not ideal. But I take it as her way of dodging the request instead of saying no directly. Her husband's subsequent reaction was worse though, and I can see that this has been an ongoing issue with them. Maybe they're both poor at communications, maybe there're deeper issues, whatever it is, the H can't seem to take a no for an answer.[/quote]

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