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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, I have been my mothers confidant since about age 4 or 5. She would also try to turn me against people and then when she liked then again she was livid when I was petrified of them. I could go on and on, but I have learned to just accept it. I like the book recommended here a lot called Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. i have major boundaries with her these days so i can parent my own children. She hates it and hates me for it, but so be it.[/quote]

+1 on that book

My parents have been more accepting of my boundaries, partly because I moved far away so they are easier to enforce. But also partly because in recent years, they have started having bad issues with my siblings, with who they have terrible-to-know boundaries, and it’s made them realize that my boundaries make our relationship more functional.

Therapy helps. So dies journaling. There are simply SO MANY issues that come up from having been emotionally neglected/abandoned at such a young age, and not even weekly therapy is enough to address it all, so being able to journal it out helps.

I’m a mom, too, and in some ways this is incredibly hard because parenting when you were poorly patented is difficult (I am “reparenting” myself as I go along, per my therapist, if you’re a parent I recommend looking into this). But also, there is something healing about giving my child what I didn’t have. It’s like it’s painful/hard in the short term but the long term rewards are meaningful.[/quote]

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