Reply to The in-laws who can never be pleased

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[quote=Anonymous]They do come to see you, so to them it probably feels reciprocal. To you, it feels like they don't really spend time with you. I don't think either of you is right, or either is wrong.

There are so many IL threads where posters complain that ILs sit around like bumps on a log and expect constant companionship; and then there are many threads where ILs are complained about because they are more into activities, making the most of seeing other people, aren't completely dedicated to their hosts. That alone should tell you that different people view visits different ways.

As for this particular holiday, spend it where you want, and make no excuses or apologies. "We'll definitely miss you at Thanksgiving, but we're really looking forward to seeing you at [future event]." That's all you can say, and they don't deserve more justification or capitulation.

Do what works best for you, but at the same time, let go of YOUR rigid thinking, and accept that--when they visit you--they are doing what is best for them.[/quote]

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