Reply to Parent who never matured but just grew old

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[quote=Anonymous]
I agree with 10:09, although I'm not going to haul you over the coals about it, OP.

You are mistaking your father's external personality with his inner core of responsibility. My father also can come across that way, but I have never mistaken it for lack of maturity.

My father has been taking care of my mother, who has a chronic neurodegenerative disease and control-freak anxious tendencies, for most of his adult life. They met in their early 20s and she had her first hospitalization at 26.

The life of of a caregiver is truly hard! He also worked full time, cleaned the house, made meals and lunchboxes, drove me to school, sewed my theater costumes, etc.

And now he is in decline in his early 70s, after a lifetime of service to others... and all my mother can do is complain about him! Of course she's worried about herself, since she's not independent. But it doesn't come across well, you know?

Please do what you can to make your father's life happy. He's not looking after anyone else but himself now. He may be casting about for an occupation. Help him find something, and if he doesn't want anything but Youtube and puttering around, well that's OK too.
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