Reply to Things people forget to discuss with their SO before marrying?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it's more nuanced than the big things like kids or no kids, but more like "what do you want your kids lifestyle to be growing up?" and "how do you want to discipline kids?" and "do you think parents should pay for kids college?"

So more nuanced than "we'll move in together when we get engaged" but "are we city people, rural? where do we want to raise kids?" and "do we retire somewhere else?" and "Do our parents have keys to our home?"

I can tell you that I dropped by my future husband's apartment unannounced a couple of times and noticed his idea of "messy/dirty" when he wasn't expecting guests and thought about if I could live with that.[/quote]

My DH and I probably did not see eye to eye on any of these. Lol.

Yet we are very happy and on the same page now.

I think compatibility of personalities is more important than the details. One needs to really understand who they are and be confident in who they are.

For example:

If you are a type A, don't marry a fellow type A or a doormat. Marry a moderately passionate person: someone with a "calm" yet no nonsense personality. Two type As will be constantly fighting. While a type A married to a doormat will always get their way until the doormat gets resentful and gives up.

If you are a doormat, marry a doormat. You will feel used and abused with any other personality type.

I am using "doormat" here  for lack of a better word. Some people are too nice for their own good. They almost always put everyone before themselves, and they are disappointed and hurt when they realize others dont do same. Doormats will hardly be happily married to anyone other than people who are similar to themselves.[/quote]

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