Reply to What's your curfew for a 16 year old boy who can't drive?

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[quote=Anonymous]My kid has a new set of friends and they generally seem nice.  Although they get way more independence than what I've given my son.  I have set a midnight curfew, which he really pushes against.  I pick him up or he ubers home.  And this has been working.

Last night he told me he was spending the night at one of their houses, but of course they didn't. They were out at a party with alcohol and weed and while I could track his phone, it did end up dying this morning and I couldn't find him for about 2 hours.

He's grounded.   And of course he's mad about getting grounded and tells me all kinds of "worse" things kids did last night than what he did.   And how they all snuck out of their houses, etc.  And how easy it would be for him to sneak out.   How he wasn't the one puking all over the floor and passing out in the back yard.  But he did drink enough to not know whether his ride there was sober enough to drive them back to his friend's house.  And that is one reason he stayed.  So there was a tiny bit of good judgement in there with all the bad.

I have a list of increasing punishments if he does worse.  And I get the feeling he's going to try.

But I'm trying to figure out a reasonable boundary here that permits him some growing independence, while also making him understand he has responsibilities both to us as parents but also to us as people he lives with.

What are your boundaries/requirements with your kids who like to go out and socialize all the time?  Knowing that there are alcohol and weed at parties?[/quote]

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