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[quote=Anonymous]New therapist. You’ve got a lot of inner work to do to allow yourself to be yourself if that makes sense. 
I was a mess at 23 and while I didn’t have a similar upbringing I also had deep fear of intimacy, unhealthy sense of drug, was isolated and lonely and both a perfectionist and directionless at the same time. I did eventually built a more authentic life but I was a late bloomer. It’s okay.

Finally this sounds weird but can you take a week or so at a spiritual type retreat? I’m not particularly new age (though am interested in psychedelics for mental and emotional health based only on the impact of a dear friend) but I think some time to decompress and listen to  inner child might help.

Finally I can’t say whether you have bpd. My mother does and her situation was similar only in that she was the only child of extremely intense immigrant parents abs her mother was abusive. For her it comes out in an intense and manipulative neediness (i was parentified very young and now once again I am solely responsible for her) and her drama manifests as constant catastrophizing and demanding the worked stop for her while being unable to nurture or empathize with others (an engulfing black hole of emotional need).

The only similarity I see is that you are struggling to develop your own boundaries, sense of self and to connect with others but you can do this. Find a better therapist. Then.  Find a new job. Or move .you’re only 23 annd you have some time to explore.

Also you don’t owe your parents anything. ( Easier said than done, i know, I still deal with mine and she’s 83 but I set up emotional boundaries). [/quote]

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